Status Update

Every Sunday Tim compiles a report about what we read the week before. For most of the books we mention, you can expect a review soon.

Sunday Status Update: August 31, 2014

This week, Sir Bors shares another legend of the noble Sir Lancelot (as with all other legends of Lancelot, this actually happened in Arthurian myth).

Bors: So Lancelot went hiking in the woods this week, and some woman shot him in the ass. There he was, probably looking for something to decapitate as per his usual preference, when some huntswoman came traipsing along the trail a ways back, mistook his behind for a simple hind, and let fly an arrow from her bow. And that great and noble knight hight Sir Lancelot was dealt a most doleful blow. In his ass. There's no real point to this story. It just makes me very happy.

BillThis week started off not so great with a few disappointing novels:  Frostborn b... Read More

Sunday Status Update: August 24, 2014

This week, Galadriel deals with one of the many problems of immortality.

Galadriel: That new big noise from the Men of Westernesse turned up again today. He kept bowing and talking, and I had to keep steering him away from anyone I'd have to introduce him to, because I can't remember if he's Arathorn or his son. They all sort of flow into each other after a couple thousand years. I'm almost sure Arathorn is dead, though, which would make this fellow some amusingly similar take on Arathorn, like just calling him Arathorn Junior wouldn't be subtle enough. Uhhh... Araborn? Aramorn? Eh, you know what? Forget it. I'll just call him Elfstone or something and pretend that's his elven nickname. Men his age love that sort of thing... at least, I think they do. How old was he again?

BillThis week ... Read More

Sunday Status Update: August 17, 2014

Character update once again on break due to shortage of time...

KatI continued on with a couple of big fantasy epics this week. I read the most recent installment in Larry Correia’s MONSTER HUNTER series, Monster Hunter Nemesis. This continues to be a smart, well-plotted, and extremely violent saga. Then I read Warrior and Warlord, books two and three of  Read More

Sunday Status Update: August 10, 2014

This week, Oin.

Oin: Well, it happened again last night. Some dignitary was visiting from the West (Gondor, this time), and of course when Gloin and I enter the hall, King Dain gets that look on his face, and he gets up to introduce us. Do we introduce ourselves with our father's name? No we do not. We can't help that Grandpap hated him and he wouldn't change the name. But of course Dain found out. And now he has everyone else doing it. Oin son of Groin. Oh, will you pass the gravy, son of Groin? How's the knee today, Groinsson? Just what I'd expect from the line of the magnificent Groin. Half of them don't even try to pronounce it correctly, they just go straight for how it looks on the page. You know what? I've had enough. I'll go with Balin to Moria. Can't be worse than this place.

KatRead More

Sunday Status Update: August 3, 2014

This week, a Guardian of the Galaxy. Because movie.

Groot: I am Groot.

BillThis has been a great run of books lately. I read The Bone Clocks (a 5), the newest from David Mitchell, one of my favorite contemporary authors; The Widow’s House (4.5), by Daniel Abraham, one of my favorite fantasy authors. And A Read More

Sunday Status Update: July 27, 2014

Chronically short on time this week, so unfortunately the character update is on break and will return next week.

BillI’ve been traveling, hiking and camping out west the past three weeks, so I’ve missed a few status reports and also haven’t actually done much reading in that time.  But I did squeeze in several books between campsites . . . 
Two excellent ones:


Red Rising by Pierce Brown:  A rich and sophisticated dystopia that will be battling for my top ten list at the end of the year
Fool’s Assassin by Robin Hobb: Also going to be in the race for the top ten, though for wholly different reasons—a wonderfully quiet novel

Three very good ones... Read More

Sunday Status Update: July 20, 2014

This week, a big thank-you goes out to Kat for securing a status update from the mighty Chewbacca.

ChewbaccaWraauuugggh. Uhwooouuu mwhooh uhuhuhuh grruh aarrrh wraauuhh ooouuuu mwauauauo oo oo raaugh arrr. Ruhm rrrrurururur Hrah Rururu Xawwmohww xx hguahr wraauughh ggrh ruaaa. Mmmwwwwau errrrm. Grrrrruh mghrhugh! Mrruh uu mwwwwmph Hrah xx ru... Read More

Sunday Status Update: July 13, 2014

From Sir Bors, another legend of the intrepid Sir Lancelot.

Bors: So Elaine of Carbonek came by this week. The last time she encountered my intellectual treasure of a cousin, she tricked him into her bed by hiding in a dark room and sending her maid to tell Lancelot that a certain other lady of his acquaintance was waiting for him in this dark room. So naturally Lancelot asks no questions (for example, how she got there, or why she sent someone else's handmaiden) but rushes off to do the deed. When he wakes up the next morning, he flies off the handle and promptly ruins any chance he had at being taken for the victim by waving a sword around and threatening to chop various heads off. Scandal for the family, mothers in tears, the usual Lancelot display. So this week Elaine came by the castle. And she sent the same maidservant to talk to Lancelot. To tell him the same lady was waiting for him, once again in ... Read More

Sunday Status Update: July 6, 2014

This week, many thanks to Marion, who managed to secure an update from Enira, the Banshee Queen from the video game Lineage II.

Enira: Listen and tremble, puny mortals! Heed my words! Cower and obey! I am Enira, the Banshee Queen. I will not be mocked. My will shall not be thwarted. You will return my copy of The South Beach Diet book, and right now, or I will rain down upon you the doom of thousand dark stars!

Kat: I read three good books this week. Shannon Hale’s The Unfairest of Them All is the second book in her EVER AFTER HIGH series about the children of famous fairytale characters. These are silly children’s stories, but they’re quite entertaining and have some nice life lessons, too. In Wint... Read More

Sunday Status Update: June 29, 2014

As always when inspiration fails to strike for anything else, we're back to one of the big three: Drizzt, Supergirl, or Frodo. Lots of LotR lately, just read tons of Drizzt, so... yep, it's going to be a superhero week.

SupergirlUgh. First day of the Justice League's summer training course. Just got off three straight hours of sitting in a room watching Green Arrow flick through a powerpoint presentation on the structural integrity of buildings, and how we're all supposed to avoid hitting world-destroying supervillains into them. Stargirl was asleep against the wall. Lucky. I couldn't even do that, because Arrow still hasn't forgotten about that one time I collapsed a YMCA and he kept looking over at me. Now we get a piddling little half hour for lunch, and it's straight over to a lecture on -- I kid you not -- "Awareness of Your Cape while Flying."

Read More

Sunday Status Update: June 22, 2014

Sir Bors returns with more complaints about his famous cousin this week (note: this actually happens in the Arthurian Legends).

Bors: Another nightmare for the family this week, and once again you-know-who is to blame. Apparently Lancelot was mincing around the countryside procrastinating on some quest or another when he came out of a forest and spotted a pavilion full of luxuries. Candles, buffet table, wine, feather-bed, the works. So naturally our man decides that God put it all there solely for his benefit. He stuffs himself, guzzles as much wine as he can hold, then totters off and falls into bed. Oh, but it gets better. The honeymooning couple who own the pavilion return separately. The wife gets scared and runs off, but the husband is a bit more nearsighted and thinks his bride is already in bed, so he hops right on in. Whereupon Lancelot wakes up, beats the poor sod about the head, dra... Read More

Sunday Status Update: June 15, 2014

In honor of Father's Day, James Potter. The dads have it rough in fantasy.

James: Took Harry out in the yard today to have a look at the jack o'lanterns. It's remarkable to me how quickly children pick things up. Harry will be a great wizard, I'm sure of it. Hopefully not too great, of course -- all the great wizards and heroes in our world (and stories too) have this odd tendency toward being orphans -- but a nice, easy-going, moderate great. Ah, it's great that I have such a long and untroubled road to watch it occur. In fact, I'm so confident that neither Lily nor I have made any arrangements whatsoever in our wills for Harry's upbringing. But come on... what could possibly happen?

Kat: It was another long high epic fantasy for me this week:  Read More

Sunday Status Update: June 8, 2014

This week, Legolas confronts the specter of death.

Legolas: Journal Entry 3448957: The quest grows ever more perilous. Yesterday (as recorded last entry) Mithrandir fell into shadow. Should I too fall in battle, I leave this entry behind as my last words to the remaining members of my Fellowship (should any survive me, which honestly seems unlikely, but who knows?). To Aragorn I leave my heartfelt hopes that he will one day become king or whatever. Enjoy. I've been waiting to become king for a couple hundred years now, but my father's immortal so, you know, I know how you feel. To Boromir I would like to say that it is completely possible for someone's hair to be one color and his eyebrows another, so please stop harping on it because it makes you look ignorant. Thank you. To Merry, I apologize for briefly thinking he was a female Hobbit. No, your people do not... Read More

Sunday Status Update: June 1, 2014

So, is the rest of Middle-Earth just kind of an Amish equivalent, or are the Hobbits just really advanced, or... ?

Oin: Today, I was trying to read Secrets of the Dwarven Smiths and How Elves Stole Them (fantastic read, I recommend it to everyone. Especially Elves). Trying, I repeat. Bilbo had to go off into another of his rambling monologues about how terribly uncivilized everything is, and Durin's Beard, shut up, SHUT UP! Yes, all right, we understand already: you come from some sort of quasi-Victorian society and we're stuck in medieval Scandinavia. Well maybe we like it that way. Maybe we don't want clocks and waistcoats and carriages and whatever else. Damned hobbit.

Bill: This week I read Watt O’Hugh Underground, the sequel by  Read More

Sunday Status Update: May 25, 2014

This week, an entry from Galadriel's early days as an elven political activist...

Galadriel: Week four of the power outage in Valinor, and I must say, I am glad that Feanor isn't bending to the Valar's pressure. Was it the elves' fault that the trees of light and life were destroyed? Not in the slightest -- look into these things, people, the blame must lie with the Valar, whose shoddy security and preposterously slow response time allowed Morgoth and (get this) a giant damned spider to waltz in and cripple all creation single-handed. Or... well, actually about ten-handed, if you count them up, but that's not the point. The point is that this is the Valar's fault and it is egregiously unfair for their error to be reflected in elven taxation.

Brad: Thanks to all of Sandy's excellent revi... Read More

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