Contemplating a fantasy invasion

I work 3rd shift and often find myself sleepy at almost anytime of day or night. When I get sleepy my mind has a tendency to wander. (I have a fairly active imagination, and evidently sleep is an integral part in keeping it in check.) Last night I was sitting at my desk which overlooks a data-center containing rows and rows of large “cages” filled with various servers and communication apparatuses. As I’m staring out over the data-center I begin to imagine what kind of damage a real live gremlin could do there. I’m aware that gremlins do not exist, but it didn’t stop me from picturing the contractor, who was milling about out there, being ripped apart after opening the wrong server cage.

It was at that point that I began to consider how horrific it could actually be if fantasy creatures actually lived in our world.

I imagined Wil-O-Wisps luring interstate drivers into oncoming traffic… You thought those starlings roosting over your car was bad? Imagine what a single dragon could do! Would I have to start paying bridge trolls on my bicycle rides? Mark Chadbourn wrote a scene in his AGE OF MISRULE series where a dragon takes out an interstate. In fact that whole series is basically exactly this scenario. What kind of nightmare situations can you imagine if our world were invaded by fantasy creatures?


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JUSTIN BLAZIER (on FanLit's staff September 2009 – September 2012) Like many fantasy enthusiasts, Justin cut his teeth on Tolkien. Due to lack of space, his small public library would often give him their donated SFF books. Justin lives in a small home near the river with his wife, their baby daughter, and Norman, a mildly smelly dog. He doesn't have much time for reviewing anymore, but he still shows up here occasionally to let us know how he feels about stuff.

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9 comments

  1. I can only imagine what kind of trouble a siren could get me into. Somehow I just don’t think my wife would buy that I was powerless against their song.. :(

  2. There ought to be male sirens. It’s not really fair.

  3. Elida /

    It’ll be a mess if we were attacked by a spiting-fire-drug-addict dragon (The name of the wind – Patrick Rothfuss)….

  4. Camille /

    There are male selkies, if that helps.

  5. Kat- male sirens would never work:
    For guys all the sirens have to do is show some ample cleavage, and smile like they’re interested and we’re slaves.

    For women; male sirens would need more than good looks. They’d have to have a good job, a nice salary, formal education, be well groomed, a good dresser, eat healthy, be a good listener, sensitive but not sissified, etc… It would just be too much work to be worth it to the sirens. LOL ;)

  6. Haha, Greg! You have a good understanding of women! I love “sensitive but not sissified” — I was discussing that with my husband just the other day when I was explaining why I like listening to Seether.

  7. Kat- Seether does indeed rocketh. \m/

  8. It’s not the big guys like trolls and dragons you need to worry about. If a hero can slay a dragon with a sword, imagine what a soldier could do with bullets or rockets. It’s the little fantasy creatures that would be a problem. Imagine having a gnome digging in your garden or a bunch of sprites infesting your house. The fey-rights people wouldn’t let you spray pixicide, so unless they’re the type of brownies that help with housework or cooking, you’re stuck with a bunch of singing, dancing, merrymaking pests.

  9. Listener, you’ve been selected to take a pick from our stacks. Drops us a line via the Contact Form with what book you would like.

    It was the Pixicide that got me.

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