Rename this horrible cover!

fantasy and science fiction book reviewsSexy Babes and…Killer Whales?

Today’s cover masterpiece was originally title The Cingulum by John Maddox Roberts. It was published in 1985 by Tor Books, and the literary world has not been the same since. That might be a slight exaggeration. Actually, I just made that up completely. The literary world barely got indigestion when The Cingulum was released, but that doesn’t stop this cover from being completely awesome.

This has all the elements of an award-winning novel. It has a sexy lady in a somewhat revealing outfit.  Nothing says “Hawt” like a shiny space robe and a vacant stare.  The spaceship looks too fragile. How do you land it without breaking the front window? That has got to be expensive to replace every single time you land.  The dude in the back  just wants to leave. He is being forced to stand there while she poses for the picture. How about the killer whale? Killer whales are totally SciFi right?  The only thing missing from this cover is a bowl of petunias.

If I were to re-title this monstrosity I would have to go with Amazon Whale Riders from Space or maybe Zoella: Zombie Were-Whale Prostitute. How would you re-title it?


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JUSTIN BLAZIER (on FanLit’s staff September 2009 – September 2012) Like many fantasy enthusiasts, Justin cut his teeth on Tolkien. Due to lack of space, his small public library would often give him their donated SFF books. Justin lives in a small home near the river with his wife, their baby daughter, and Norman, a mildly smelly dog. He doesn’t have much time for reviewing anymore, but he still shows up here occasionally to let us know how he feels about stuff.

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14 comments

  1. Attack of the Spandex Orcas

  2. Swifty /

    Space-Pacer Whale-chasers

  3. Swifty /

    Schwing-ulum!

  4. “Dressed to Krill”

  5. I love “Dressed to Krill!”

  6. Sir Read-a-Lot /

    I was going to submit a name, but nothing I come up with could possibly beat “Dressed to Krill”.

  7. SandyG265 /

    The Cat People Go For Sushi

  8. occams beard /

    OK so I see that guy in the back ground who looks like Yul Brynner’s Offspring and I have the cover name:
    The King and I in space: Book 35 We will have fun fun fun till daddy takes the space coupe away!

    Absurd? Yep but I think its pretty apt. I love that this particular cover has that early look popularized in the 60s where the women try to look innocent sultry and empty of any internal direction all at the same time. It is trying to say to men look a female Bambi in just your species! How would you like show her what will certainly also be her best friend named thumper too. Ok I better stop her I am not trying to go too blue But tell me is that does not look like an angry daddy with a macho complex behind her in that way that you use background imagery to paint what she is reacting to and a foreground punch of our Sporty space ship to hint at maybe why he is pissed. Any way thats my story and I am sticking to it.

  9. Mongo and Bubbles in the Strange Case of the Overly Amorous Space Whale

  10. Ashleigh /

    Honey, Have You Seen My Orca?

  11. Holly Yates /

    warrios, whales and witches, oh my!

  12. occams beard /

    ok I dunno how I missed the whale.

    I will amend my title to this;

    The king and I: we will have fun fun fun till daddy take the royal space coupe a way, One whale of a story!

  13. occams beard /

    or the

    Whale wars! How I tested my sport sub, freed willy and found out that Yul Brynner is still alive and is the evil genius behind the japanese whaling industry.

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