Status Update

Every Sunday Tim compiles a report about what we read the week before. For most of the books we mention, you can expect a review soon.

Sunday Status Update: August 20, 2017

This week, Legolas and Gimli run into a snag on their way to the Havens (spoilers).

Legolas: Journal Entry 4858299: This week, I at long last set off for the Grey Havens, accompanied by Gimli. It was an auspicious moment, many tearful farewells. Still, I was eager to take to the seas, for ever since I heard the sound of waves on shore, there has dwelt in my heart a terrible desire for the shining land beyond the waters. Gimli just wants to hit on Galadriel again. Anyway, our journey went smoothly the first few days, but last night, a terrible storm blew in. We were both of us up all night struggling with sails and tiller, and by the time the tempest blew itself out, we had no actual idea where we were. Now here we are floating along beneath a featureless sky, and for all I know we're headed right back toward Middle Earth. Also, waterlogged dwarf smells awful.

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Sunday Status Update: August 13, 2017

This week, Supergirl again. Yeah, I dunno.

Supergirl: I spent this week in super speed. Did you know the super speed is something I can turn on and off? Bet you didn't. It is, though. You know that feeling where you focus in really hard on something, and time seems to slow down as you study it? It's like that, except, you know, actually happening. I did it for the whole week. Weirdest thing I've ever done. Do you know how creepy people look in slow motion? Do you know how hard it is to pay attention to what people are saying when they're taking like an hour to say it and their words sound like discordant whale song? How the Flash hasn't gone completely insane and murdered us all by now, I have no idea.

Brad: This week I've been enjoying on audio the newest collection of short stories by Read More

Sunday Status Update: August 6, 2017

This week, Galadriel puts up with a visit from a peer.

Galadriel: This week, I hosted Thranduil of Mirkwood in Caras Galadhon, which was just as painful as ever. We all know that Lothlorien is far prettier than anything Thranduil has, but of course it would be rude to say so, and so we spend the entire week dancing around the issue as Thranduil makes awkward, bitter jokes about how his forest would probably look pretty good too if he had a super special magic ring (if I ever find out who told him I have one of the Three, I'll... well, let's be honest here, I'll probably do nothing, as it was almost certainly Celeborn, another born whiner on the subject). Finally sent him packing this morning, after an extremely awkward final feast during which he got drunk and started sobbing about how all the other woodland peoples tease him because a hobbit stole a bunch of his barrels once or so... Read More

Sunday Status Update: July 30, 2017

This week, Batman (and apologies for the lateness this week).

Batman: Field report for July: Broke Penguin's nose last Thursday. First time I have ever done so. Must admit to odd feeling of satisfaction. Have now broken the nose of every major supercriminal in Gotham city. Experiencing a sort of completionist's pride. Not sure what this implies about my psychological state. Alfred keeps suggesting I return to therapy, but I am unconvinced. Find myself talking about bats every time I see a Rorschach ink blot, which is clearly problematic.

Bill:This week I read James Morrow’s funny if a bit over long The Asylum of Dr. Caligari, Ben Loory’s  disappointing collection Tales of Falling and Flying, and the informative but flawed The P... Read More

Sunday Status Update: July 23, 2017

This week, Peter Pan goes to Oz.

Peter: This week, I flew to a place called Kansas, and there was a lot of wind in a sort of funnel shape. Never saw one of those in England (or Neverland), but it looked like fun, so I flew into it. It wasn't a very good idea, as it turns out, and I ended up somewhere called Oz. I apparently killed a witch on the way in, but she was wicked, so that was all right. Her sister got mad at me about it, but she was another wicked witch, so I killed her too, and crowed. Then some good witch got annoyed with me and said I oughtn't to just fly around stabbing people like that and I'd better follow the yellow brick road and stop being naughty. So asked her why she didn't want me killing wicked witches, and she got all huffy and said of course I could kill wicked witches, but only after I'd learned a lesson or seen a wizard or something. This Oz place is pre... Read More

Sunday Status Update: July 16, 2017

Character update on break until next week.

Marion: I’ve been mostly reading the work for my writers workshop the first weekend in August, and travel guides for Finland and Iceland, but I did manage to start a re-read of Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. The other night on the News Hour they had a segment on “bots” who are being used on the phones at car dealerships, and it made me think about Frankenstein and his creature. In other news, did you know there was a Museum of Icelandic Witchcraft and Sorcery?

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Sunday Status Update: July 9, 2017

Character update on break this week.

Jana: This week I put reviews together for Sarah Beth Durst's The Reluctant Queen and Nicky Drayden's Read More

Sunday Status Update: July 2, 2017

Captain America, in honor of an incipient Independence Day. Also the one that just happened.

Captain America: This week I saw fireworks going off, and I figured some good patriotic American was celebrating Independence Day a little early. I got the shield and went over. Turns out it was just Canada Day. It's embarrassing, but up to this moment I did not realize that there was a Canada Day. I asked the Canadians about it. "Well," they said, "it commemorates Canada's becoming its own country separate from Britain. Only July 1st isn't the actual day that it happened, and we're still part of the commonwealth. July 1st was actually dominion day, which was something different, but lately it's Canada Day."

"So you wanted your own Fourth of July, huh?"

"... yes."

Honestly, I didn't mind. They offered me beer, and Canadian beer is better beer. I'm sorry, my co... Read More

Sunday Status Update: June 25, 2017

This week Supergirl goes to Themyscira, home of Wonder Woman, and I go on way too long making fun of poor old silver age comic books.

Supergirl: This week I went to Themyscira, island of the Amazon warriors. It was fun and all, but the Amazon leading me around (she was called Artemis or something) seemed a little hazy on the actual details. She was eager to show me the training rounds where the Amazons learned to be the greatest warriors in the world, but then she started telling me about how they're pacifists and they sent Wonder Woman as an emissary to end the animal struggles of mere human beings. That didn't make sense to me.

"Wait," I said, "so... you were separated from humans for thousands of years."

"Uh huh."

"And you live in a pacifist utopia."

"That's right."

"And you're the best warriors in the world."

"We cer... Read More

Sunday Status Update: June 18, 2017

Red Sonja's path intersects with Father's Day.

Red Sonja: Today, a small-town widow hired me to find her son, who'd gone missing in the woods. She wasn't offering much, but pickings have been slimmer than usual lately. I eventually tracked the boy to a cave outside of town. He was just sitting there, looking in. Seemed like he'd been there a while. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me he was going to go into the ogre's cave and fetch his father's axe to lay on his grave. Apparently old dad had fought the ogre with some other men years ago, but it had gotten the better of them and he'd lost the axe. Now he was dead, and it was Day of Fatherhood or something like that. The boy wanted to go in and get it, but he was afraid. I suppose I should've dragged him back, but in the end I went in for him and came out with the axe.

"Is that it?" he said. "It's smaller than I thought."

... Read More

Sunday Status Update: June 11, 2017

Character update is on break again this week.

Bill: This week I read Victoria Schwab’s This Savage Song, a well-told YA book and am looking forward to starting book two, Our Dark Duet, which closes the duology, today. I also finished A World From Dust by Ben McFarland, a fascinating if sometimes dense look at how the rules of chemistry together with early geology directed evolution; and Digging in the Dark by Ben Johnson, a brief regional history of the grave robbing trade around Yorkshire England. In film the family went to see Wonder Woman and while I had a few issues, I though it well done and enjoyable. I’d put it in the middle of the pack of the Marvel films but it certainly blows away the last three DC movies, and Gal Godot was absolutely fantastic. A... Read More

Sunday Status Update: June 4, 2017

This week, Celeborn tries to find his inner masculinity.

Galadriel: This week, I discovered that Celeborn has ordered construction on a very fast personal boat for himself. I am told that it will be blood-red, dangerous, and covered in the latest apparatuses for hunting. I must admit to being a bit bemused by this turn of events, as Celeborn has never before had the slightest interest in boating or hunting. He's more of a needlepoint person, in fact. We elves do not age as do the other races, and so the concept of a mid-life crisis (at least as applied to an elf) has never really become a matter of great importance for me until now. I thought perhaps I should talk with Celeborn about it, but after an hour's conversation, all I got out of him was that he would no longer be wearing the traditional robes of Lorien, as they were effeminate and stifled his masculinity. When I pointed out that they... Read More

Sunday Status Update: May 28, 2017

Character update on break this week, due to unforeseen meteorological conditions in the western regions of Arnor.


Bill: This week I greatly enjoyed Tyrant’s Throne by Sebastien de Casetell, an excellent ending to a very fun and highly recommended quartet. Soleri, by Michael Johnston, was less enjoyable, an opening book that didn’t have me all that eager to await the second. Like Jana, I also just finished Ellen Klages’ Wicked Wonders. Unlike Jana, I did not adore (or even much like) it. I believe that means I’m outnumbered 2-1 on that one. In poetry, I read Attributed to the Harrow Painter by Nick Twernlow, which didn... Read More

Sunday Status Update: May 21, 2017

This week, Peter Pan confronts slightly changed attitudes toward death in children's fiction.

Peter: Children are wimpy these days. I met a few in the park this week, and I went ahead and told them all about my adventures. It was all going fine until I mentioned that I'd killed a pirate. So one of the boys said I hadn't, so I said I had, I really had. The rest of them acted like they didn't believe me, so I went ahead and explained how I stabbed him up under the ribs and he bled out a few minutes later. Then they all got pale and ran off. I don't understand it. In the old days, they would've just said "how ripping" and let me get on with the story.

Bill: This week I read the Vacation Guide to the Solar System, an engagingly informative non-fiction tour of our nearest planets in a unique form... Read More

Sunday Status Update: May 14, 2017

This week, Red Sonja gets into the hero business.

Red Sonja: This week I killed my first ogre. I didn't mean to. I sort of stumbled into it. I was just contracted for a draugr, but I got the wrong cemetery and when he saw me the ogre must have figured I was there for him. So he came running out screaming bloody murder. Ever seen an angry ogre up close? Ten feet of muscle and slime and bad disposition. I did what any sensible mercenary would do and turned right around, screaming bloody murder myself. Only I tripped over a headstone and fell over, and then when I tried to get my sword around, the ogre got tangled in my scabbard, and he fell over me, and broke his neck against a headstone. The villagers came up while I was going through his pockets and figured I'd done for him out of heroic valor or something, so they threw me a banquet. Sometimes things work out all right. Except for the ogre, obvio... Read More

Sunday Status Update: May 7, 2017

This week, Dracula changes with the times.

Dracula: This week, I once again encountered the infernal Van Helsing and his latest crew of mawkish do-gooders. This time, however, they did not find me unprepared! No indeed! For when I returned to my crypt near dawn and found them waiting, I did not despair. I had measures in place. The latest lantern-jawed English hero swaggered toward me with a cross as usual, and as usual I was forced to cower. But as I did, I reached into my coat. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I produced my pistol! They scattered like scared rabbits. Van Helsing himself put on a turn of speed frankly remarkable in a man his age. Most satisfying. Learn from my success, all ye creatures of the night! Vampiric powers are awesome and terrible, but they are at their best when supplemented by Messrs. Smith and Wesson.

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Sunday Status Update: April 30, 2017

This week, we finally descend to scatological humor. I'm sorry.

Kvothe: I had a bad start to the day. I seem to have caught the disease going around the village, and I ended up stuck on the privy for most of the morning while Bast roamed around outside offering unhelpful suggestions and saying things like "Whew, Reshi, quick! Call the name of your wind! It's off its leash again!" I was about ready to throttle him.

Bill: In the lull between rough drafts and final papers, I managed to get a decent amount of reading done this week. I just finished Jeff VanderMeer’s Borne, a lovely, warm, and lyrical book that I’ll be highly recommending. I also finished two YA non-fiction works: 10 Rout... Read More

Sunday Status Update: April 23, 2017

This week, we swing at some low-hanging fruit again. Yep. Time for the obligatory Hobbiton pipe-weed joke.

Frodo: We've always been fond of our pipeweed here in the Shire, but lately it's been getting out of hand. Barrels of it are constantly being shipped out, the plants seem to be taking over every garden, and the smell of it gets into everything. I mean, really, people, can't we have some moderation? Now we have tourists coming through just to smoke our "Longbottom Leaf" and play bongo drums, because apparently Longbottom Leaf is illegal in Gondor for some reason. I suspect Gandalf's big mouth is the reason we have so many newcomers, but whenever I ask him about it he just giggles, puffs on his pipe, and ask if I have any snacks. Getting so tired of this.

Bill: This week I read two excellent books. Th... Read More

Sunday Status Update: April 16, 2017

This week, Batman confronts his worst nightmare.

Batman: This week there was no crime in Gotham City. None whatsoever. Must confess to a feeling of... emptiness. Strange. Lack of crime should feel like success. Spent the week wrapped in activities I had always imagined I would one day undertake in my retirement. I watched several films I had been meaning to see. I went with Alfred to the golf course, just as I was forever promising I eventually would. I even picked up my oboe for the first time in years. It was... it was...

It was terrible. When the new crime-free Gotham was revealed to be a fiendish mind control plot by the Scarecrow, I was inexpressibly relieved.

Bill: I’m moving into crunch time at the end of the term, as well as facing a play deadline, so not a lot of reading this week (or probably the next few). I did... Read More

Sunday Status Update: April 9, 2017

This week, Robin Hood addresses the fact that Hollywood has labored for nearly a century under the delusion that he is Ivanhoe.

Robin: New wanted posters this week. Always an exciting time. My bounty price went up again, and ah, how the glades rang with laughter when the men saw how highly the sheriff prizes us! But there were also some minor... issues. This time, you see, an accounting of my deeds was appended to the main poster, which would have been a merry thing, save that they were not in fact my deeds. My poster states that I am a crusading knight recently returned to England, that I have been wrongfully disinherited, that my childhood sweetheart and fair lady has been spirited away by a loathsome nobleman, and that I have made common cause with outlaws in order to rescue her and put the land to rights. Also that I am affiliated with King Richard somehow.

This is all ... Read More

Sunday Status Update: April 2, 2017

This week, Red Sonja performs the long-standing heroic duty of saving a princess.

Red Sonja: You don't run into a lot of fat princesses. I don't know why. It seems like it'd be the sort of life that would predispose a woman to putting on some extra weight, what with the pampering and the gourmet meals. But the princesses I've seen have all inclined toward the skinny side, if anything. They usually have lots of blonde ringlets, too, and big blue eyes. And they always seem to be looking beseechingly toward something in the middle distance, which gets very annoying when you're right in front of them waiting for instructions. This week, a king hired me to rescue his daughter, and sure enough, when I burst into the inner chamber covered in ogre guts, raw sewage, and what I'm pretty sure was unicorn puke (don't ask), there she was all wasp-waisted and golden-haired. She'd somehow contrived not to be messy, which w... Read More

Sunday Status Update: March 26, 2017

Character update will return next week.


Bill: This week I finished Tad William’s The Heart of What Was Lost, which I liked a bit more than Kat, and Scott Westerfeld’s fast moving and enjoyable (more for story than the visuals) YA graphic Spill Zone. Outside the genre I read Heretics: The Wondrous (and Dangerous) Beginnings of Modern Philosophy, by Steven and Ben Nadler, an engaging graphic introduction to Seventeenth Century figures such as Descartes, Hobbes, and others. I also finished Fleda Brown’s strong collection The Woods are On Fire: New and Selected Poems and Tracy Chevalier’s novel At the Edg... Read More

Sunday Status Update: March 19, 2017

This week, the Beast pitches what is basically a superhero revenge movie.

The Beast: This week, I kidnapped an old man and then performed a prisoner exchange for his daughter. It all seemed reasonable at the time, but I'm beginning to think it may not have been my finest moment. Only, honestly, how else am I going to spend time around a young woman? This curse seems designed to make me fail. I have to make a human woman fall in love with me while I'm a sort of bison/bear thing? What is that? What, I'm just supposed to happen on a woman who not only suits me personality-wise but is also into bestiality? It's absurd. I'm beginning to think I should just use my Beastly superpowers to track down this enchantress and make her lift the curse.

Actually, why haven't I thought of that before? It's not like it's just me who's suffering -- my entire staff was turned into doodads, and they didn't eve... Read More

Sunday Status Update: March 12, 2017

Character update on break this week.


Bill:This week was a pretty good week quality-wise. I finally got around to Ada Palmer’s Too Like the Lightning, and I’m still mulling over my feelings on it—it’s a very smart, stimulating book in lots of ways, but also flawed and at times I felt trying a bit too hard on its plotting. I liked it, admired it, not sure if I, in middle-school parlance, “like-liked it. On the other hand, I loved The Last Painting of Sara de Vos: A Novel, by Dominic Smith, even it the ending was a bit weaker in comparison to the rest of this beautifully constructed and often beautifully written novel that moves back and forth between the 1600s, 1950s, and 2000s. Finally, I also quite enjoyed Meg Howrey’s The Wanderers, which follows a trio of astronauts as t... Read More

Sunday Status Update: March 5, 2017

This week, Supergirl deals with more woes over being an alien.

Supergirl: This week the "illegal alien" thing reared its ugly head again. This was, oh, Friday? Thursday? Anyway, I was downtown to buy new clothes (when you're constantly ripping off your outer layer to leap into action, you go through a lot of them) when I ran into an invasion of lizard people from the earth's core. Only, you know, not a full-blown invasion really, more just like some lizard people dared some other lizard people to go up and steal a McDonald's sign. They seemed to think it was a surface world religious symbol, and you know, not inaccurate, exactly. So I did my usual intimidation routine -- grab one, fly him around a bit, drop him back with his friends -- and told them to get lost. They got lost. They usually do.

Only then a bunch of guys in suits came running up and said they'd been looking for me, and said I nee... Read More